Stupidity…

Dan just forwarded me an article from Boston.com about a young couple who were pulled over by a state trooper in Washington and later arrested. Their crimes? Well, along with driving with open alcohol containers in the car (while drunk and underage mind you), they were also NAKED!! hahaha! The article states that they were allegedly in “the middle of an intimate act.” You can link to the full article here.

Before I rant and poke fun at the stupidity of these two kids, related to the sexual activity, I must first and foremost state that drunk driving is bad! Many people don’t seem to realize that when you get behind the wheel drunk, you are not just risking your own life. If driving was an activity that you could engage in without the possibility of affecting anyone other than yourself, I would say “Go ahead. This is a free country. Gamble with your life if you feel like it.” But that is not the case with driving. When you get behind the wheel you possibly endanger anyone else you may encounter on the road: others cars, pedestrians, etc. Ok…first half of rant, done.

Now for the amusing part. OK.

Firstly, if you are not going to be able to control yourself and keep the car steady on the road, you probably should not be getting road head or engaging in any sort of road-sex activity. It is not only dangerous to yourself and others, but a car weaving all over the road is pretty damned conspicuous! Secondly, you do not take off ALL of your clothes when engaging in road-sex activities while the car is still moving (pull over if you must)! That is just silly, and again, quite conspicuous. If by chance you do get pulled over, it is a lot less likely that you can explain your way out of being naked; whereas if you did it properly, a little tug on the zipper and you are back in fine form and ready to be creative in your explanations for your poor driving.

Anyways…these kids were pretty stupid and have quite a few strikes against them in my book. I was however interested to find out that “embracing while driving” is considered a misdemeanor! All you bitches stay away from me when I am driving, no hugs! I mean it!!

Lastly, I would like to reminisce about one of my experiences with road head – it wasn’t me! Get your minds out of the gutter. Ann, Kara and I think Katie will appreciate this story I forget if anyone else was in the car.

So we are driving down the highway, probably to or from the Cape or New York. Ann is driving, Katie and Kara are chatting and I am staring out the window watching the scenery fly by. A car pulls along side us and is going at relatively the same speed. So I notice it, notice that it has slightly tinted windows and proceed to look into them. What do I see?? Well all I can tell you is that I suddenly yelled at the top of my lungs “ROAD HEAD!!!!” Everyone stopped what they were doing and leaned towards that side of the car, trying desperately to get a better view of the situation. At this point, the kid looks over and realizes that there are four noses pressed to the window watching him. We see him mouth, “Oh shit!” This of course causes the girl to try and lift her head to ask what is the matter, but if she lifts her head, we will be getting a much better show. He grabbed her head and held it over himself, using her like some kind of barrier, while he stepped on the brake assuming he would lose us. Oh no! Ann also slammed on the brake (we were going 70+ on the highway) so that we could stay neck and neck with the car. He continued to slow down until we were all probably traveling about 25 mph on the highway, pissing off everyone around us and forcing that poor girl to have her head strongly held in blocking position for quite a while. Eventually we sped back up and left the kids to their business, laughing for several miles afterwards. It was pretty amusing. Are we mean for finding that situation so hysterical? Or for messing with them? I don’t think so. I figure, if you are going to be doing that in public, you leave yourself open to getting caught and being harassed a little bit. That story has gone down in the books as one of our funnier road trip stories and we occasionally yell “ROAD HEAD!!!” while in the car or even just hanging at someones house, just for the humor in the memory.

That is all.